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Even though you're in a violent relationship, it can be difficult to know if what you are exposed to is indeed violence, seeing that a number of coping strategies are often employed in order to survive in the relationship.

This means that:

  • The violence is often downplayed.
  • The violence is often denied, due to feelings of shame and a need to distance oneself, because the violence is too hard to bear.
  • There is often a sense of guilt and doubts as to whether the violence is self-inflicted.
  • Excuses are often made in order to make the violence easier to forgive: he was drunk, jealous, upset etc.

When is it violence?

Violence is not always physical. It can be psychological, verbal, sexualized, material, economic, digital, honor-related and latent.